Are you wondering why inner child work is important? Well, you’ve come to the right place.
Before we get into the importance of inner child work, let’s first go over a few things.
What is the Inner Child?
Your inner child, similar to your shadow, is part of your unconscious mind.
The inner child is the true, uncontaminated essence of who we are; that which is spirited, creative, authentic, and accepting.
Your wounded inner child is a part of yourself that’s stuck in a time where you didn’t fully process your emotions.
This wounding typically involves learning to disown a part of yourself and leaving it behind.
Family and culture make you embrace some parts of your Self, while completely abandoning others.
This happens when a child idealizes her parents and follows arbitrary rules for survival.
These rules implicitly embed the child with the unconscious idea that she is “bad”—which is a typical childhood experience.
When the child sees that some of her feelings and thoughts are unacceptable, she chooses to get rid of them.
(This creates the child’s “inner parent”, which encourages obedience at the cost of being whole.)
Then the rules and unconscious beliefs you learned as a child evolve and are carried into adulthood.
What is Inner Child Work?
Inner child work, or inner child healing, is becoming aware of what aspects of yourself you’ve denied and redeeming them via conscious integration.
It’s doing the griefwork to digest and process emotions that you carry from the past.
While becoming conscious of the underlying beliefs that have been driving your existence.
By doing this, you become more emotionally mature and experience universal Love.
You can also do inner child healing through shadow work prompts.
Why Inner Child Work is Important
People who need inner child work are those who believe others are responsible for how they feel.
Many times this leads to controlling behavior.
Controlling behavior is how people avoid taking responsibility for their own inner life.
They wrongfully believe that the love and fulfillment they most desire can be attained from outside of themselves via control.
For example, a manipulative person has built dysfunctional patterns that get them the validation they seek.
However, they’re stuck between not ever letting someone see who they truly are and the reality that they can’t force someone to love them.
The same way a bully falls for the illusion that he is in control is the same way a people-pleaser believes being ‘nice’ is some secret to a good life.
Both people are under a delusion that they’re living life correctly. When in actuality, they are both immature and incomplete.
In fact, when you look at the dysfunctional patterns in unconscious relationships, you’ll notice that you can’t tell which side started manipulating the other first.
Inner child work is important because you learn to feel love and safety by looking within, rather than controlling others.
The source of much of your pain is these dysfunctional, unconscious beliefs about your life.
Some examples of these beliefs include:
- Nobody can be trusted
- I’m blameless & you’ll always forgive me
- I’m always wrong
- I am pure
- I am helpless
- The world wants to dominate me
- I’ve always been a loser
- Everyone is ungrateful
You will unconsciously live out these positions in your relationships—even when it’s against your self-interest.
Inner child work is important because helps wash away those false beliefs.
Here are a few questions specific to some unconscious beliefs listed above:
- Are you controlling towards others in an attempt to avoid responsibility for your own feelings and actions?
- Do you feel like you’re carrying so much pain that it’s not worth exploring?
- Do you think no one cares to genuinely hear you out about your pain, and that if you shared you would end up alone?
- Are you afraid to be vulnerable because you believe it’s a sign of weakness that leads to being taken advantage of?
Check out: 8 Signs You Need Shadow Work
After your griefwork, your mind will transform. You restructure your life for more love and peace and wholeness. An increase in consciousness.
Emotional Maturity & Inner Child Work
The most notable quality of maturity is that he or she understands that everyone, including oneself, is perfectly okay.
Here is a list of qualities of a healthy, mature, and presently conscious adult:
- Emotionally appropriate and level-headed
- Doesn’t baby, advise, or console other adults about their problems
- Gently redirects people to help themselves (“What do you plan to do about it?”, “What do you expect out of yourself?”)
- Stays as objectively present as possible
- Doesn’t persecute or judge others with “how things *should* be”
- Doesn’t complain and instead focuses on what can be done in reality
- Remain indifferent so others can learn to help themselves and deal with their personal preference issues
- Understands people are neutral beings
- Does not need to control others and understands he already isn’t in control
- Understands that an adult isn’t entitled to love, respect, or to be taken care of
Becoming mature involves shaking off the unconscious rules you grew up with. Learning from experience which beliefs hold true and which don’t.
You also need to make sure your emotional reactions (from your inner child) are appropriate as an adult.
A mature adult seeks the truth behind the unconscious rules from the inner parent and appropriating the emotions and fantasies from their inner child.
Here are some resources I recommend:
A Light Among Shadows is a guide to self-love and being that helps you overcome negative self-talk, instill genuine self-acceptance, and overcome self-hate and resentment by making sense of people’s level of consciousness and your spirituality.
Shadow Work for Beginners Series helps you beat negative patterns and beliefs, integrate your shadow, heal your inner child, reclaim your projections, build emotional maturity, and take back your life by becoming whole.
Shadow Work for Relationship Series helps you heal your attachment style, navigate relationship issues, and build a healthy, mature relationship.
Advanced Shadow Work is an ongoing publication with continued in-depth insight and practical advice you won’t find anywhere else on the internet for practicing shadow work, self-awareness, inner healing, spiritual development, and more!
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Approved Tools
Tarot Cards (incl. Manifestation Manual ebook) provide insight and intuitive guidance for personal growth and decision-making.
Chakra Crystals (incl. Ancestral Healing ebook) can bring balance and harmony to your mind, body, and spirit.
Book of Shadows (incl. Shadow Work Journal) is your own special journal that you fill up with your energetic intentions as you scribe your own inner practices to be passed down to others.
Subliminal Bundle uses different hypnosis tracks to subconsciously improve your health, love life, motivation, self-love and much more.
These products are not affiliate links, we do not get a commission when you purchase these tools. We are supportive of our partnership with Sinful Goods for offering small websites a chance to promote their brands.
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