Have you ever asked yourself, “Do I have inner child trauma?”
If you’re wondering how this inner child trauma can evolve into your adulthood, go here.
Before answering your question, let’s go over what the inner child is.
What is the Inner Child?
Your inner child, similar to your shadow, is part of your unconscious mind.
The inner child is the true, uncontaminated essence of who we are; that which is spirited, creative, authentic, and accepting.
Your wounded inner child is a part of yourself that’s stuck in a time where you didn’t fully process your emotions.
This wounding typically involves learning to disown a part of yourself and leaving it behind.
Family and culture make you embrace some parts of your Self, while completely abandoning others.
This happens when a child idealizes her parents and follows arbitrary rules for survival.
These rules implicitly embed the child with the unconscious idea that she is “bad”—which is a typical childhood experience.
When the child sees that some of her feelings and thoughts are unacceptable, she chooses to get rid of them.
(This creates the child’s “inner parent”, which encourages obedience at the cost of being whole.)
Then the rules and unconscious beliefs you learned as a child evolve and are carried into adulthood.
The trauma you experience in childhood can embed implicit beliefs about your existence within your psyche.
The most common unconscious beliefs are:
- Nobody can be trusted
- I’m blameless & you’ll always forgive me
- I’m always wrong
- I am pure
- I am helpless
- The world wants to dominate me
- I’ve always been a loser
- Everyone is ungrateful
You will unconsciously live out these beliefs in your relationships until you become aware of them, and work through them
Here are a few questions specific to some unconscious beliefs listed above:
- Are you controlling towards others in an attempt to avoid responsibility for your own feelings and actions?
- Do you feel like you’re carrying so much pain that it’s not worth exploring?
- Do you think no one cares to genuinely hear you out about your pain, and that if you shared you would end up alone?
- Are you afraid to be vulnerable because you believe it’s a sign of weakness that leads to being taken advantage of?
Check out: 8 Signs You Need Shadow Work
Here is a list of more questions that can indicate whether you’re someone who has dealt with childhood trauma.
Do I have inner child trauma?
When someone yells and accuses you, can you maintain level-headedness without your composure being too shaken?
Are you very sensitive to being criticized, judged, and/or rejected?
Do you have boundaries to protect yourself from someone’s dominating, engulfing, or smothering behavior?
Do you have a lot of trouble following through on goals or overcoming bad habits?
Despite someone else’s misbehavior, are you able to maintain a sense of love for yourself and others?
Do you actively seek approval or reassurance?
Are you more fulfilled when you’re going through drama and tough times, or when your life is going smoothly?
When you are around authority figures are you anxious?
Do you overextend yourself when caring for others, while at the cost of your own wellbeing?
Do you have issues expressing or trusting yourself?
Are you someone who clings to others out of fear of being alone?
Are you someone who regularly isolates yourself from others?
Can you relax and allow yourself to have fun free of guilt?
Here are some resources I recommend:
Shadow Work for Beginners is based on my in-depth research and personal experiences with shadow work, projection, sadomasochism, inner child healing, triggers, and all things shadow. This resource gets updated at no additional cost.
A Light Among Shadows is a guide on self-love and being. This series goes over consciousness, spirituality, philosophy, and makes sense of why people are the way they are. Recommended for anyone dealing with resentment and self-hate. Learn more here.
Shadow Work for Relationships teaches you everything you need to know about attachment theory, practical inner work, and your dysfunctional behavior. By the end of this, you will have developed your earned secure attachment style so you can put an end to your cycle of bad relationships.
Shadow Work Journal: 240 Daily Shadow Work Prompts contains inner work exercises related to relationships, anger, anxiety, self-love, healing trauma, abandonment issues, depression, forgiveness, etc.
Self-Love Subliminal for self-hypnotism that will help you change your behavior and gain self-love, self-awareness, better relationships, greater health, and improve your creativity.
Shadow Play (or “DsR”) is a sister website that goes over “sensual” shadow work through BDSM experiences. If you are 18+ and are interested, go here.
Mindful & Mending is a small website that’s about self-hypnosis, affirmations, auto-suggestion, and more techniques & tools to help you shift your unconscious mind. Check it out here.