In this post, we’ll be going over ideas about inner work and shadow work for BPD, or Borderline Personality Disorder.
First, let’s quickly go over what shadow and shadow work is.
What is Shadow Self & Shadow Work?
Your shadow self, or shadow, is the side of yourself you have no awareness of. It holds all the qualities you disowned during your formative years.
Although you learned to repress these qualities and push them outside of your awareness, they still live underneath the surface.
They unconsciously guide your actions and are the unseen cause for many of the troubles in your life.
Shadow work is the intentional practice of becoming aware of your unconscious shadow and integrating these neglected qualities into your being—becoming whole.
This is a process of building self-awareness, self-acceptance, and universal Love.
“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”
Carl Jung
NEXT READ: Everything About Shadow Work (Comprehensive In-Depth Guide)
Brief Overview of BPD
BPD is a mental health disorder that makes it difficult to manage emotions and impacts how you think and feel about yourself and other people.
Some Borderline Personality Disorder symptoms include:
- Intense Fear of Abandonment
- Impulsive Behavior
- Frequently Changing Sense of Self
- A pattern of Unstable Relationships
- Unpredictable Mood Swings
Shadow Work for BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder)
A common trait among people who have BPD is a notable desire for connection.
Generally speaking, people with inner wounds from unmet attachment needs will gravitate, often excitedly, to anyone who can potentially fulfill that need.
However, this excitement can come off as very erratic and become maladaptive in adult life since “loud” emotions tend to be off-putting in modern society.
A person who has difficulty managing emotions may develop an underlying belief: “If I express my emotions, I will be abandoned.”
Another perspective is that a person with BPD may be dealing with very charged complexes that intensely affect a debilitated ego.
A complex is an unconscious bundle of expectations, beliefs, and emotions tied to a specific subject.
This makes it very easy for someone to overly identify with their emotions since emotional expression does have a cathartic effect on the mind and body.
However, this leads to a person being possessed by their emotions instead of possessing their emotions.
Example of one extreme case of a BPD episode
Understand that when someone is hyper-aroused, it makes it difficult for a person to remember what has happened and what exactly they have done or said.
An example of this would be a person who makes a scene and antagonizes somebody. Then leaves the room. And when they return a few hours later, they act as if they are on good terms with everyone and the incident never happened.
This can be a traumatizing experience for those who were antagonized. While also being a crazy-making, gaslighting experience.
What makes this even more difficult is that this “amnesia” quality prevents self-reflection.
How to Support Someone with BPD
Many people can feel shame after having expressed their emotions in an unregulated manner.
It helps to show the person acceptance and to not promote any shame they may already be having. As well as shed light on the emotional intent rather than the emotional intensity.
You can also consider hearing their perspective of events and help them determine if their responses are exaggerated or minimized.
Since there can be a bit of an “amnesia” effect, it’s helpful to enforce morality in the situation. So long as you carefully point out that the person’s actions are the issue, not themselves as a person or their feelings.
This assumes that they have no shame over a situation where it would be more socially beneficial if they did. Since there are real social consequences for unregulated actions.
There is also a BPD quality where a person can be distressed if they don’t see you or know where you are. So at least attempting to inspire them with confidence by clearly sharing your whereabouts may be helpful.
Tips to Help Manage BPD
One of the most problematic shadow beliefs that someone with BPD may have is “I am blameless.”
By consciously deciding to take more responsibility for your actions, you can integrate the part of your psyche that surrounds your personal power, despite the difficulties that come with it.
Tell the people whom you trust to be honest with you.
Make them understand that their authenticity is the most important thing they can give you. This will bring in an environment of truth that can allow for “healing” (more love and acceptance) and connection.
Over time this can help with your overall sense of trust.
Here are some resources I recommend:
A Light Among Shadows is a guide to self-love and being that helps you overcome negative self-talk, instill genuine self-acceptance, and overcome self-hate and resentment by making sense of people’s level of consciousness and your spirituality.
Shadow Work for Beginners Series helps you beat negative patterns and beliefs, integrate your shadow, heal your inner child, reclaim your projections, build emotional maturity, and take back your life by becoming whole.
Shadow Work for Relationship Series helps you heal your attachment style, navigate relationship issues, and build a healthy, mature relationship.
Advanced Shadow Work is an ongoing publication with continued in-depth insight and practical advice you won’t find anywhere else on the internet for practicing shadow work, self-awareness, inner healing, spiritual development, and more!
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Approved Tools
Tarot Cards (incl. Manifestation Manual ebook) provide insight and intuitive guidance for personal growth and decision-making.
Chakra Crystals (incl. Ancestral Healing ebook) can bring balance and harmony to your mind, body, and spirit.
Book of Shadows (incl. Shadow Work Journal) is your own special journal that you fill up with your energetic intentions as you scribe your own inner practices to be passed down to others.
Subliminal Bundle uses different hypnosis tracks to subconsciously improve your health, love life, motivation, self-love and much more.
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