By popular demand, we're answering the following reader questions:
"Is the shadow self real?"
Yes, the shadow self is real. It's the part of yourself that you've banished outside of your awareness. You learn to do this in your formative years because you relied on your caretakers and needed their approval for survival. Part of adulthood is reintegrating these aspects of your personality back into your being so you can be conscious and whole.
"Where did shadow work come from?"
Shadow work comes from Carl Jung’s idea of making the unconscious conscious, bringing the ego and shadow in agreement. It’s the act of taking back control of the unseen force that has been guiding your life.
What is the Shadow Self?
Your shadow self, also called shadow, is the side of your personality that you’ve rejected and repressed.
Initially, these qualities are outside of your own awareness. Meaning you aren’t aware that this is part of who you are.
Instead, you are in denial about these aspects of yourself, and you project these qualities outside of yourself, usually towards those you admire or who you demonize.
Because they have something, you already have within you that you’re not ready, or you are unwilling, to accept.
Essentially you project these qualities on a form you consider “other.”
How Is Your Shadow Formed?
You were taught to disown this side of yourself growing up.
During your formative years, your family, community, and society teach you acceptable behavior and unacceptable behavior.
As a child, your means of survival is the approval of those who take care of you.
So you willingly hide away the behaviors and qualities that are disapproved by others.
As you build up this idea of who you think you are (ego), you also build up an idea of who you believe you are not.
Since you can’t eliminate who you are, you instead repress these qualities until they are outside your own awareness.
This is called “shadow-making,” the process of rejecting oneself and not identifying with your whole being.
However, those shadow qualities are still there. You still express these qualities, albeit unconsciously—meaning you don’t “see” it or even believe you are “like that.”
This lack of self-awareness is the source of all troubles, relationship issues, and self-sabotaging incidents in your life.
What is Shadow Work?
Shadow Work is the process of integrating the unconscious parts of your personality that you’ve disowned and repressed.
By becoming aware of your disowned qualities, you will no longer inflict them unconsciously onto others or project and blame.
https://www.youtube.com/embed/bJFxvBsX6Es?feature=oembed
Instead, you will find appropriate and healthy outlets to express and manage these so-called “negative” parts of your being.
In doing so, you develop more self-awareness, build self-love, mend the psyche, and gain a clearer sense of reality.
Where Did Shadow Work Come From?
Carl Jung coined the term “shadow” as a poetic means of explaining human evil.
Having a background in Christianity, the ideas of “demonic possession” were made more understandable by introducing the unconscious, shadow, etc.
Devilry is the underlying belief that you, or others, are not inherently acceptable; worthy of God’s Love. Therefore must be told how to live.
Evil is when you demonize or dehumanize another individual or group of people—simply because your mind is projecting your shadow qualities onto them, and they stand in opposition to your selfish way of life.
This is evidence of a distorted psyche. Unable to see things as they are—an unaccepting view of oneself and humanity.
Shadow work comes from the need to heal one’s distorted psyche and honor one’s right to be whole. As a result, you become more accepting of others’ right to be whole as well.
There are plenty of resources to help you develop more self-awareness and self-acceptance.
Is The Shadow Self Real?
Your caretaker's job during your formative years is to teach you how to behave like a functional human being.
It's thanks to this civilizing process that we are able to have functioning societies.
However, by the end of this process we have qualities that have been disowned and repressed.
These are typically expressions and behaviors that your community and culture will have you believe are are "not okay".
This leads to you going about your life as an ego, that which you believe yourself to be.
As your ego grows within the confines of your conscious awareness—
The shadow, that which you don't realize is also who you are, has taken refuge outside of your awareness and grows as well.
Your shadow holds all of your potentials and wants to integrate and be acknowledged by you.
However, by its very nature you can't be conscious of the unconscious.
This means that your shadow must find other means of bring your attention to it.
It does this in a very counter-intuitive way—by distorting your psyche with its shadow material.
5 Ways Your Shadow Self Distorts Your Psyche
Projection is the most common way you see your shadow. This can be either by attaching itself on a form to trigger you, or that you'd find admirable.
Underlying Beliefs are the most pervasive way your unconscious dictates your life. You will repeat existential circumstances and outlooks that confirm your outdated childhood beliefs that you or others are inadequate.
Demonization is a form of projection where you've allotted all the qualities you've disowned onto a group of people you don't identify with. This results in false narratives, scapegoating, racism, sexism, etc.
Dehumanization is similar to demonization, except there is patronizing judgment behind it. This arrogant attitude shows the pride you have over your own ignorance. It indicates a lack of self-awareness and builds the mental circumstances that would bring you hell on Earth.
Shadow Death Grip is when your psyche has been consumed to the point that you're giving up control of the ego and completely surrendering to your darkest impulses. In media, this is portrayed by committing various forms of homicide, followed by suicide. Typically under the belief that they've been bestowed this duty by God (the ego's way of still denying they have a shadow).
The longer a person ignores their shadow, the blacker and denser it becomes.
Some people will completely deny their shadow half to the bitter end.
It's by performing shadow work and accepting the entire spectrum of one's being, that the shadow impulses become manageable.
This is awareness and honoring is an act of Self-Love, as opposed to living in denial of your whole being—which implies Self-Hate.
If you're interested in integrating your shadow self, there are plenty of incredible resources to choose from.
NEXT READ: Everything About Shadow Work (Comprehensive In-Depth Guide)
Here are some resources I recommend:
A Light Among Shadows is a guide to self-love and being that helps you overcome negative self-talk, instill genuine self-acceptance, and overcome self-hate and resentment by making sense of people’s level of consciousness and your spirituality.
Shadow Work for Beginners Series helps you beat negative patterns and beliefs, integrate your shadow, heal your inner child, reclaim your projections, build emotional maturity, and take back your life by becoming whole.
Shadow Work for Relationship Series helps you heal your attachment style, navigate relationship issues, and build a healthy, mature relationship.
Advanced Shadow Work is an ongoing publication with continued in-depth insight and practical advice you won't find anywhere else on the internet for practicing shadow work, self-awareness, inner healing, spiritual development, and more!
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Book of Shadows (incl. Shadow Work Journal) is your own special journal that you fill up with your energetic intentions as you scribe your own inner practices to be passed down to others.
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