Breakups are painful and it’s normal to feel hurt, angry, and confused. But it’s also important to take action and move towards healing. Starting your healing journey after a breakup is not easy, but it’s absolutely necessary.
Here are some tips on how to start your healing journey after a breakup:
Allow Yourself To Grieve. It’s important that you allow yourself to grieve. Don’t suppress your feelings. The truth is that your being has been tied with this person more-or-less and now that the bond is slashed it’s normal to be struggling with identity. Grieving will help you let go of the other while reintroducing aspects of yourself that you’ve left behind.
Cut Contact. It’s massively important that you stop contact so you have time to heal and any chemical dependency you have with this person levels out. Establish boundaries and focus on your healing.
Take Care Of Yourself. Prioritize your well-being physically, emotionally, and spiritually. This means getting good sleep, eating good food, exercising, and engaging in fulfilling activities.
Seek Support. Although every inner journey is essentially an individual one, getting support to vent and get guidance can be very helpful with moving forward from the breakup.
Focus On Your Goals. Set up new goals for yourself. Many people ask themselves “Who am I?” after a breakup. That’s a good question, but here’s a better one: “What do you want?” This gives you an authentic aim and direction to move forward for yourself.
Practice Forgiveness. Forgive yourself for your mistakes and attempt to forgive your ex so that you don’t carry baggage into your future relationships. Freeing up this psychic energy and pain is part of the healing journey.
Try Something New. Everything that happens in the world is meant to bring more love in the world, even if it’s in a nuanced way. Chances are, there is more love in the world when you and your ex don’t have a relationship than when you had one together. Now you are able to love yourself by exploring new interest, hobbies, relationships, and so on.
Why is the Healing Journey So Lonely?
Here are four reasons why the healing journey so lonely:
Dealing with emotions. The healing journey is lonely because it often involves dealing with intense emotions. These emotions can involve bitterness due to feeling misunderstood by everyone since traumatic experiences are very unique and tend to be unrelatable.
Facing your fears. Oftentimes we are afraid to face our pain. Because sometimes our pain is tied to learning a part of ourselves that need to change but we’re afraid to losing. However, it’s important that you allow the parts of yourself that need to burn away, burn away. What remains, after discarding bitterness and resentment, is maturity and understanding.
Finding your own path. The wounds open up cracks of light in your psyche. You explore yourself by trusting your intuition and following the path it points out at you. Trusting yourself to follow your own path is a lonely process.
Coping with loneliness. Just because this will be a lonely process doesn’t mean you have to spend all of your time alone until you are finally healed. That’s not a good idea because the smaller you allow your world to get, the more anxious you get about the world you lose touch with. So engage in activities with other people intermittently, but also be patient with yourself and engage in lots of self-care.
The Healing Journey for “Needy” Anxious Attachers
People who struggle with being clingy, insecurity, and fear of abandonment are typically anxious attachers. These people are also referred to as “being needy” in the dating world.
Many people struggle with anxious attachment but thankfully, with enough patience, guidance, and self-love, they can work on their healing journey and develop a secure attachment style.
Check out a helpful TikTok here.
People who are described as “needy” tend to express some form of volatile behavior when their intense fear of abandonment is triggered. This response is not a weakness of character, but instead a natural response to past emotional wounds.
Here are some tips on how to navigate your healing journey for anxious attachers:
Practice Self-Love. This is crucial for your healing journey because you’re learning how to accept yourself along with all of your flaws. This is challenging because there can be feelings of unworthiness and inadequacy involved. However, through self-love you will learn that you are worthy of love and connection.
Learn to regulate your emotions. By learning how to manage your emotions you will become less reactive and feel more in control of your behavior and your life. This can mean utilizing therapy, mindfulness exercises, and other resources and tools.
Identify and challenge negative belief systems. Taking the time to spot your negative beliefs about yourself and challenging those beliefs will help give you a reality check. This can help you shift your perspective and develop a stronger, more positive and accurate self-image.
Cultivate healthy relationships. This involves building relationships that are uplifting and supportive. These relationships will respect you and be consious of your triggers because they care about your well-being. This doesn’t mean that they will enable any irrational behaviors, but they will help you establish boundaries interpersonally and cultivate your sense of belonging.
Practice self-compassion. This involves treating yourself with compassion without criticism. You are a human being who is healing and this is a process that requires understanding and self-forgiveness.
Recommended Resources
A Light Among Shadows is a guide to self-love and being that helps you overcome negative self-talk, instill genuine self-acceptance, and overcome self-hate and resentment by making sense of people’s level of consciousness and your spirituality.
Shadow Work for Beginners Series helps you beat negative patterns and beliefs, integrate your shadow, heal your inner child, reclaim your projections, build emotional maturity, and take back your life by becoming whole.
Shadow Work for Relationship Series helps you heal your attachment style, navigate relationship issues, and build a healthy, mature relationship.
Advanced Shadow Work is an ongoing publication with continued in-depth insight and practical advice you won’t find anywhere else on the internet for practicing shadow work, self-awareness, inner healing, spiritual development, and more!
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Book of Shadows (incl. Shadow Work Journal) is your own special journal that you fill up with your energetic intentions as you scribe your own inner practices to be passed down to others.
Subliminal Bundle uses different hypnosis tracks to subconsciously improve your health, love life, motivation, self-love and much more.
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