There are plenty of ways to identify your unconscious shadow. All of which are very tied together.
First, let’s quickly go over what is the shadow.
What is Shadow Self & Shadow Work?
Your shadow self, or shadow, is the side of yourself you have no awareness of. It holds all the qualities you disowned during your formative years.
Although you learned to repress these qualities to push them outside of your awareness, they are still living underneath the surface.
They unconsciously guide your actions and are the unseen cause for many of the troubles in your life.
Shadow work is the intentional practice of becoming aware of your unconscious shadow and integrating these neglected qualities into your being—becoming whole.
This is a process of building self-awareness, self-acceptance, and universal Love.
“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”
7 Ways To Spot Your Shadow Self
1) Projection
Projection is unconsciously taking qualities you don’t want in yourself and attributing those qualities to someone else.
Since projection is easier than assimilation, we direct these qualities outside of us.
But when we project these qualities outside of ourselves, we are left less than whole.
These negative projections cause us to unconsciously provoke others with hostility. This makes people defensive and project their own shadows onto us.
Negative projection is the source of scapegoating, racism, and enemy-making.
But not all projection is problematic.
Admiration for others is a positive projection. Because we can only admire others if we have a sense of our own worthiness.
However, it’s crucial that you retrieve all of your projections. Because a single person can only hold so many shadows and survive.
Projection is one of the most essential topics to fully perform Shadow Work. You can read more about it here.
2) Humor
All laughter comes from the shadow because laughter is a form of repressed sadism.
You can get a better understanding of your personal shadow by paying particular attention to what makes you laugh uncontrollably.
This is typically a signal of what you wouldn’t do but would like to do.
However, a person who strongly represses their shadow will generally lack a sense of humor.
Instead, she will not find the joke humorous and act judgmental towards the subject.
3) Neuroticism
This usually appears as something related to mental illness or substance abuse.
Keep in mind that the unconscious will create neurotic symptoms to push a person towards inner work.
This is because depression and anxiety tend to come from not being who you truly are—from playing a role.
Until then, the neurotic will seek to blame, and they will misbehave without feeling responsible for her actions.
4) Sadism / Masochism
Sadism is an expression of destruction and power. Masochism is an expression of pleasure to humiliation and pain.
It’s essential to recognize the joy in destroying others and self-destruction.
Otherwise, you will find more damage done without recognizing this normal fact of life.
Some examples of sadomasochism include workaholism, BDSM, and “getting triggered.”
For example, a repressed reaction towards masochism is clunky shock and disgust towards what unconsciously gives the person pleasure.
Sadomasochism is one of the most essential topics to fully understand for Shadow Work. You can read more about it here.
5) Body Language
The body is always conveying what the unconscious mind is saying.
For example, a person who acts modestly and feels timid internally can unintentionally appear prideful and conceited externally.
It’d be wise to study body language so you can read people’s true intentions, as well as your own.
6) Dreams
The shadow likes to appear in our dreams as the same sex as ourselves.
However, we typically try to avoid it when it appears in our dreams for the same reason we don’t consciously see it when we’re awake—
Because the mind doesn’t want to acknowledge it.
7) Dysfunctional Relationships
Most people aren’t aware that they’ve been replaying the same unconscious roles from childhood.
Therefore the unconscious positions you put yourself in relationships are how you’re comfortable receiving validation and recognition.
This is why you’ll notice the same patterns repeating among your relationships. Your way of relating to people is built on these unconscious, destructive games.
The most troubled people are the ones who avoid being left alone, the fear of confronting oneself.
The best way to break out of this cycle is through maturity and awareness, which involves doing inner child work.
BONUS – Immaturity
Immaturity includes not understanding one’s own emotions and not setting boundaries.
For example, the biggest obstacles to genuine, mature relationships are (1) being needy and (2) caretaking others.
Beliefs that are mistaken for feelings are:
- Betrayal
- Abandonment
- Rejection
- Disappointment
- Humiliation
- Isolation
Each of these are only excuses to point blame.
It’s also worth noting that passive-aggressiveness is common among repressed people.
And genuine anger is neither dangerous nor violent. Instead, these are attributes of drama and should be avoided.
Here are some resources I recommend:
A Light Among Shadows is a guide to self-love and being that helps you overcome negative self-talk, instill genuine self-acceptance, and overcome self-hate and resentment by making sense of people’s level of consciousness and your spirituality.
Shadow Work for Beginners Series helps you beat negative patterns and beliefs, integrate your shadow, heal your inner child, reclaim your projections, build emotional maturity, and take back your life by becoming whole.
Shadow Work for Relationship Series helps you heal your attachment style, navigate relationship issues, and build a healthy, mature relationship.
Advanced Shadow Work is an ongoing publication with continued in-depth insight and practical advice you won’t find anywhere else on the internet for practicing shadow work, self-awareness, inner healing, spiritual development, and more!
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Approved Tools
Tarot Cards (incl. Manifestation Manual ebook) provide insight and intuitive guidance for personal growth and decision-making.
Chakra Crystals (incl. Ancestral Healing ebook) can bring balance and harmony to your mind, body, and spirit.
Book of Shadows (incl. Shadow Work Journal) is your own special journal that you fill up with your energetic intentions as you scribe your own inner practices to be passed down to others.
Subliminal Bundle uses different hypnosis tracks to subconsciously improve your health, love life, motivation, self-love and much more.
These products are not affiliate links, we do not get a commission when you purchase these tools. We are supportive of our partnership with Sinful Goods for offering small websites a chance to promote their brands.
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Sensual Shadow Play is practiced through BDSM experiences. If you are 18+ and are interested, go here.
