The following blog posts were written on my original blog over five years ago. This article is part of my 37 Life Lessons From My Youth Series. Note: I've matured a lot since then and my "voice" has changed since. Enjoy.
Do you know the truth about fear? It's a surprising secret that very few people know about.
Every single person has an internal program that is comprised of two things:
- Self-Belief: What you believe you can do
- Self-Doubt: What you don't believe you can do
That means if you believe you can do it, you will pursue it. But if you don’t believe you can do it, you won’t pursue it.
All of life's opportunities end where self-doubt starts. When you doubt yourself you believe your efforts will lead to failure.
Fear is driven by the chance of failure.
But ask yourself - “What is failure?"
Failure is never trying.
The average person tends to avoid what gives them self-doubt. They don't confront the darkness and look it in the eye.
When it comes down to it they don't believe in themselves.
What does the person with high self-belief do? He goes for it.
It doesn't matter if he's never done it before. And it doesn't matter if he's scared.
In fact, it's best that he's scared and he takes that leap of faith. Because -
You transform in the face of fear.
This entire time your internal program has told you "don't do this" and "you can't do this".
This mental affliction can't fathom you actually facing your fear.
That's why the moment you walk up to the darkness your self-doubt shows. You feel yourself tremble with anxiety and stress.
It’s overwhelming.
But that internal stress is where the magic happens.
This entire time you’ve avoided your fears. But now you’ve confronted it.
Your mental program is faced with reality.
What's the Reality?
You can do it.
Hell, you're standing right in front of it.
Fear be damned.
The surprising truth about fear – that trembling, scared feeling – is that objectively it's the greatest feeling you can have.
The physical sensation of fear you have when you confront the darkness, is literally your entire being reprogramming itself.
Because it has no choice.
Holding onto all that self-doubt no longer makes sense.
Instead your being builds your self-belief and demolishes self-doubt.
Your mental program transitions from
“I can’t do this” to “I can do this”.
How do you build self-belief and get rid of self-doubt?
The simple answer is that you confront what you fear:
(1) Identify what you fear so you can stop avoiding it.
(2) Confront that fear to any degree that you can.
(3) Keep pushing through until you conquer it.
To make the most of your life you must update your personal program. You must update your personal program so you can conquer your fear.
You can't get rid of self-doubt by wishing it away.
It's reality's job to pick apart your self-doubt and you do this by exposing yourself to it
You think you are incapable of things you are fully capable of.
You need reality to prove you wrong.
What if you're still too scared to face your fear?
Remember that it's your mental program saying that.
It's okay to be afraid.
Everyone who is famous is afraid. Everyone who is great is afraid.
They know they have lots to lose.
If you can't face your fears yet, then you must speak against your self-doubt.
Create affirmations for yourself to say every single day in the morning, day, or night.
What if I feel uncomfortable doing affirmations?
This is good.
That internal discomfort is your program adjusting itself from "I can't" to "I can".
Your mind has no choice but to believe what you tell it.
Does all of this work? Yes. We are using cognitive dissonance. We all have it and we all use it.
Is facing your fears easy? No. But it’s okay to be scared. All you have to do is push through and make it to the other side.
Or you can continue to fail because failing is easy. Everybody does it.
But you’re not like everybody are you? Otherwise you wouldn’t be here.
Your brother,
- Rich
