The following blog posts were written on my original blog over five years ago. This article is part of my 37 Life Lessons From My Youth Series. Note: I've matured a lot since then and my "voice" has changed since. Enjoy.
Destiny doesn't exist in the traditional sense. Instead people must take active control of their lives.
But sometimes even when we take active control of our lives, we get blindsided by an unforeseeable struggle.
Those things that can’t be helped are what I call Dirty Destiny. You had no idea it was coming. It just unfolded right in front of you as if it were destiny.
It’s up to us to transform these unexpected struggles into retrospective harmonies, by picturing Dirty Destiny as our accidental Lady Luck.
How To See Dirty Destiny As Lady Luck
Comfort is Your Enemy (Stop Forgetting That)
If you've been living a monotonous life consisting the same thing on a day by day basis, then it's a good thing that Dirty Destiny is throwing trouble your way.
The sudden change in your daily living means that she is tired of seeing you do the same shit. She sees that you have potential, but she knows you need a reason to get off your ass.
When life presents a problem, it isn't meant to rain on your parade. That problem is yours to handle so that you can become stronger in the game of life.
Destiny is being dirty because she wants you to become better. In fact, she demands it.
Life Is Supposed to Be Bullshit (Sometimes)
Make a difference where you can, make peace where you can't.
Supposedly one of the things you learn in a military boot camp is to embrace the suck.
When you accept that Dirty Destiny is meant to give you a hard time every now and then, you learn to stop bitching about it.
Now that you're not wasting your time and energy whining, you can use those resources to come up with a solution.
Remember: she's not doing this to give you a hard time so much as she's doing this to make you better at handling her.
She's telling you that you're doing things wrong
I wouldn't call this example Dirty Destiny, considering that the consequences should have been foreseeable. But I have a friend who Destiny decided to finally slap across the face just a few weeks ago.
Because he refused to do take care of his initial issue, Destiny decided to take away his two front teeth.
Now he needs to pay over $3,000 to get substitute implants.
I'm sure initially he was ignoring his problems, but pretending your issues don't exist never solves anything.
If you have any issues that you've been pushing aside, you best do something about it before Destiny does.
Eventually, she'll refuse to be ignored. It took my friend a $3,000 bill to finally pay attention to her.
Dirty Destiny Wants You To Help Others
Take a look at the archives. Each of these posts came from a struggle that she hand delivered to me.
Thanks to her dancing dirty with me, she's taught me how to handle and perceive situations.
I can look back and claim how life has been a bitch. But I choose to call her my Lady Luck. Thanks to her, I'm a better person than I was before. She's also made me a resource for others.
When you were a kid, I'm sure you asked your parents for advice. You might even ask them for advice right now.
The reason you ask them for advice is because you know that they've had a few dates with Destiny. You know that they've had their share of struggles and they may have answers that you're looking for.
When you undergo struggles, you're becoming that person to go to.
Be particular about the things you care about
But realize that you can't be so strict about it.
You can have values and your own moral code. But Dirty Destiny doesn't care about your ideals.
To accomplish the goal that you're setting out for, you have to be flexible when it comes to certain things.
Remember that rules and values are only ideals. People aren't perfect, and they will fail to live up to your ideals from time to time. You must learn to be flexible with your ideals as well.
Ideally, a company can believe that their product is worth $80. But you may only be willing to purchase that product for $60 or less. You're not living up to their ideal.
So instead, they'll have to be flexible with you to make the sale. And if they don't, you will find someone who breaks their ideal and sells it at a smaller price.
Rules, values, expectations, codes, commandments are made to be broken. If you aren't flexible with them, someone else will be.
I'm not saying you have to throw everything you believe in out the window. But if someone sells you a product at a smaller price, closer to what you feel is fair, who benefits from this flexibility?
Both you and the seller benefit from this flexibility.
Being flexible on how you handle situations is what will allow you to have a smoother dance with Dirty Destiny.
Refusing to take handouts when you're homeless is an example of uncompromising values. I don't care if you're making things harder for yourself, Dirty Destiny doesn't care either. *Nobody* cares. It would be in your best interest to take the voluntary handout and make your life easier for the time being and show some gratitude.
(One of the happiest moments in my life was when someone gave me a cup of oatmeal. I had no means of 'cooking' it, but I was homeless and that useless handout made me incredibly grateful)
Sometimes the inability to compromise your beliefs hurts the things you claim to care about. I say claim because you might actually care more about your beliefs than you do for actual existing and living things. Be particular about the things you care about.
The Truth is, Dirty Destiny is Lady Luck's Ugly Sister
Although she isn't exactly Lady Luck, she's still a source of experience, initiative, and grit. And you'll need all three to create your own luck.
Dirty Destiny is opportunity wrapped in an ugly, stained newspaper. You may not realize it at first, but the ability to endure her means that you'll be more ready to move onto her hot sister Lady Luck when the time comes.
