Are you wondering when to start shadow work?
The best time to start shadow work is when you are called to it. Most times, this will happen around a period of tragedy. When you begin to realize that you have less control than you think. When you intuit that something is wrong. The world isn’t the way you perceive it.
Ideally, you’ll be attracted to shadow work before tragedy. But many people, like myself, don’t discover it until after the fact.
Before we go deeper into when to start shadow work, I want to make sure you understand a few things.
What is the shadow and what is shadow work?
The shadow is the side of yourself that’s disconnected and unfelt. It’s the part of yourself that’s been rejected since childhood and you have no awareness of.
Shadow Work is integrating the entire spectrum of your being. It’s the intentional process of admitting the parts of yourself you’ve ignored and repressed.
Why does everyone have a shadow self?
When you were born, you were a whole, complete being.
But as you grow, your family and your culture encourage some parts of your personality, while punishing other parts.
So as a child, you learn that you’re supposed to be one way and not the other. This other side of yourself is the shadow self.
Even though you don’t identify with it, it’s still a part of who you are. And you cannot eliminate who you are.
Instead, you can only repress it to the point that you’re no longer connected or aware that it’s a part of you.
When to start shadow work ideally
My personal opinion, based on clients and my course reviews, is that most people should start shadow work around their mid-twenties.
The reason for this is because people who are about 20 and younger, are still in their formative years. They are still “shadow-making”.
Shadow Making is essentially the “domestication” process of making you into a human being that can function in society.
During this “domestication”, you are leaving parts of your personality behind. Which you’ll pick up again through shadow work.
People who are too young, don’t have the necessary life experience, or time alive, to self-reflect and think retrospectively sufficiently enough.
Waiting to start performing shadow work until around your mid-twenties is ideal because your brain is nearly finished developing and you have enough time away from childhood to be capable of discernment.
A very good place to start shadow work, without having to get into anything advance, is by doing shadow work prompts.
When to do shadow work by necessity
Some people have had rough upbringings that have denied too much of their whole personality.
This is why mental health professionals might say that anxiety and depression are a result of playing a role, and not being who you truly are for too long.
For example, people who were abused are likely to have a very weak relationship with their unconscious; shadow.
This is why people whose needs weren’t met in childhood have the most trouble with:
- Manifesting
- Anxiety
- Depression
- Dysfunctional Relationships
- and so on
These people have the most trouble experiencing self-love because they weren’t given enough of it growing up.
Which has caused them to grow a dense shadow over the years.
Given enough time, these people’s world-views are distorted. Their perception of people is fucking up. Eventually, they may self-isolate.
They might succumb to their shadow all at once, causing them to perform homicide and suicide.
Understand: If life is NOT going your way—you NEED to perform shadow work.
Not only do you need shadow work. You also need inner child work to help develop your self-love.
Feel free to read all the free articles on this website. They will help.
If you’re looking for an efficient and effective way of learning shadow work and self-love then:
Check out the Shadow Work Course here.
Check out A Light Among Shadows: A Guide to Self-Love & Being here.
