In this post, we go over a reader’s question: How To Perform Ho’oponopono To Get Your Ex Back?
What is ho’oponopono?
Ho’oponopono is a practice that several indigenous cultures use as a way to cultivate forgiveness, conflict resolution, and rebuild harmony.
The purpose of ho’oponopono allows for healing between self and others by admitting and accepting personal errors and reaffirming one’s own role in contributing to goodness in the world.
“Ho’o” + “ponopono” = “To make right”
How To Perform Ho’oponopono To Get Your Ex Back
Understand that using ho’oponopono as a way to revive a past romantic relationship is not guaranteed to work.
Although is can help clear negative mental and emotional blocks that hindered the relationship, that doesn’t mean you will instantly have the relationship skills needed to work on the relationship (such as communication and genuine effort).
However, you can still use ho’oponopono as a way to create an environment for a loving relationship by way of forgiveness and emotional healing.
Think of ho’oponopono as a way to provide the relationship rich soil as a new slate. You will still need relationship skills to water the seeds and make the most of the rich, new soil.
Check out The Healing Journey For “Needy” Anxious Attachers.
6 Steps To Perform Ho’oponopono For An Ex
1) Isolate yourself from any distractions to a place where you can achieve a restful and mindful state.
2) Concentrate on taking slow and deep breaths.
3) Recite the following four phrases:
- “I’m sorry”
- “Please forgive me”
- “Thank you”
- “I love you”
4) As you recite and repeat each phrase, you must intensely contemplate what each phrase means.
5) Relive the emotions that each phrase captures. Let your sincerity drive your desire to rectify your shortcomings. Make amends towards reconciling the relationship.
6) Continue to repeat these phrases, either aloud or internally for as long as the emotional baggage carried in each individual phrase demands.
Check out Shadow Work Prompts for Relationships, Self-Love & Healing the Inner Child.
Additional Ho’oponopono Techniques for Getting an Ex Back
Concentrate on dissolving the negativity between you and your ex-partner. You do this by letting go. The negativity is due to not being on the same page, a rift in the emotional landscape between you two. Use visualization and imagine a healthier relationship that allows you both to shed off the negativity weighing on the both of you. As you imagine these burdens shed, take a deep breathe. On the exhale, allow yourself to let go of all tension.
Take a empathy stance towards yourself and your ex. Contemplate both perspectives, despite any actions. Understand that understanding and communication is what’s needed to chip away at misunderstandings and judgmental attitudes. Doing this builds trust and makes relationships sustainable.
Meditate on repairing broken ties by opening your mind to compromise and negotiation. This way you both can get the best you can for both of you. Allow as much as you can give your partner before it hurts. The fact that your relationship has conflict is evidence that you both believe you have something to offer. This is good, and allows for the opportunity to grow together.
Do not be overreliant on ho’oponopono. This renowned practice can help mend negative belief patterns and the surrounding emotions, but you must also you your rational reasoning and pragmatic will to take action. You must do things to make things right. This practice can help with getting on the same page emotionally internally, but it doesn’t do the external footwork.
In conclusion, you can use ho’oponopono to help with emotional healing post-breakup and potentially induce forgiveness that could potentially revive your ex-relationship at most, while at the very least—empower you to have a better relationship in the future, thanks to having less emotional baggage.
Read more about relationships, psychology, and spirituality here.
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Shadow Work for Relationship Series helps you heal your attachment style, navigate relationship issues, and build a healthy, mature relationship.
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